I don’t understand it. I don’t understand it one bit.
i understand anything and everything that has a beginning must have an end but death and afterlife are two mysteries I really don’t understand.
How does the afterlife work? This question haunts me and gives me the most anxiety. Even while typing this, I feel anxious.
I don’t understand. Maybe it is beyond my comprehension. Let’s take Heaven for example.
The concept of Heaven sounds great. It is an idea that gives us hope that there will be a chance to see our lost loved ones and seek happiness.
The concept I don’t understand is how does it work?
When I move on, I would love to see my parents, my grandparents, and those who I have missed since they have moved on. I also want to be with my wife who I am sure wants to see her parents, her grandparents and those who she has missed. Eventually my kids will move on in their old age and I would like to be with them as so my wife but I also want to see my parents. I suppose my kids will want to be with their spouses and then their children and so on.
How can I split myself into 5 different pieces to see everyone all at once?
Is Heaven so big to accommodate the masses?
Is it an exclusive place and we all eventually end up in limbo/purgatory?
I don’t know.
Then there’s the concept that energy is not lost or created. That energy has always been there. How can that be so if the population has grown exponentially.
Then there’s the idea that our souls get recycled into the next birth. How can that if there are more people dying then being born and there is exponentially a greater amount of people living today than yesteryear.
If there is no heaven or afterlife, how do you explain spirits, miracles, and the creation of the world? How can you create the universe out of nothing? There must have been a cause? A Supreme Being?
How can nothing become the universe that we know it now?
These are questions that haunt me and cause me nervousness. I do not like the idea of just passing on and not being able to see the people I love ever again. I love life. I love the interactions with those I love and care about. I love the evolution of man and the planet.
I understand that one day I will pass on. Maybe I won’t mind it as much when I get to that point. My wish is that before I close my eyes for that last time, I am able to look around the hospital room and see my loved ones.
I wish to see my children happy with their spouses and with children of their own.
The only image that will hurt will be the long-lasting look of my wife’s face knowing that I will be gone. Hopefully though it would be just a brief goodbye and I will see my soul mate in the afterlife.
I hope there is an afterlife.
P.S. I respect all and every religion. Everyone is welcome to their beliefs and these are mine. I wish I was more spiritually strong to not worry about things like this but I have a wandering mind thats questions things that have no definite answers. I am an civil engineer by trade. In my profession there is always an answer and a way. I suppose that translates to my personal life. I have felt and seen things that are unexplained which keep me optimistic about the afterlife. I witnessed a haunting when I was a young child. I felt like I was floating and seen “GOD” during a retreat (long story). I witnessed the greatest miracle — The Birth of my Son. I have seen things that I thought were not possible nor didn’t understand and I hope the afterlife and the idea of heaven becomes nothing true idea I encounter.
Wow. That was Deep.
I’ll update later on my views on Death and the Afterlife (tantalizing tease).
I’m back with another post!
Probably worried that I was never going to update this blog again which is a repeated pattern that I am trying to defeat.
My family and I have been going on walks everyday this week at our local park. It is very relaxing to just go outside and walk with the family. No electronics, no disturbances. It’s nice.
Also as funny as it may sound, I have been trying to change my eating habits lately. More fruit during the day, a lighter lunch and dinner. Trying to cut down on all the fatty and unhealthy foods such as McDonald’s and such. It’s a hard habit to break during the work day when my initial reaction is to leave the halls of work and try to get some relaxed silence in the comforts of my car. So my lunch involves an orange, an apple, a cliff builder bar, and a bottle of water. Sound very appetizing? It is for the bettering of my health though. I have grown weary of the remarks about my work in my personal and work life. I’m not that overly huge though. Granted I have gained a few but who doesn’t?
So there was the eating habit change this week or say we call it a diet?
Work is bothersome. Seems like the walls are getting closer. I need to get a sledgehammer and tear those walls down (Metaphorically of course). Just ARGH. I don’t know. It’s a curse of mine I believe. Every job I have had I over-do myself. I succeed exponentially. I learn to do things that I have no business of understanding. YET, I feel like people take advantage and try to abuse that of me. I do get snippy at people because of that. I know how to “almost” do it all yet when it’s time for me to have an official job title it’s a shrug here or you’re not that even though I technically am (I do have a degree; might not have gone to a fancy engineering school but I have the critical thinking and ingenuity that most don’t).
Thank God it’s Friday and I get to spend it with my loved ones.
~ Mr Nightshade
Another long day. From the moment I woke up to the remaining ten minutes of the night before I head to my sleep oasis (11:30PM).
Do I feel under appreciated sometimes at work? Yes.
Does it matter? No and yes.
My Drive? I look over at my son sleeping on the baby monitor and my wife watching a netflix movie and I think to myself: as long as I continue to push myself and better myself at work then the rewards will be there and those rewards will be used to keep getting food on that table and keeping my family healthy and happy.
All that matters in the end is family.
I feel like I have a responsibility to uphold as the “man” of the house. I realize what I just typed is old fashioned idealogy in today’s world but I feel that I have accomplished something whenever I see my family happy and healthy.
Alas it will soon be Thursday and this week will soon be over (Friday I am taking off — Sister is Graduating! Congratulations!). Thank the heavens it will be Memorial Day. I need some much appreciated R&R.
I challenge myself to actally update my blog more than 3 times a year.
It is strange however that for a person such as myself that has so much to say go completely blank when faced with a empty blog entry or when a camera is faced upon me for Youtube.
Lately I have seen three of the shows that I have watched for the past 3+ years end. Completely End. Series Finales..and I’m sad/upset.frustrated.
I will detail each show and finale seperately later as the night is calling my name to rest my face on the pillow and visit neverland.
PS my wife just told me of some movie she watched today that the legendary John Stamos was in so the likelyhood of me dreaming about John Stamos tonight has increased. WTF
In 5 short months, I will be a father and a Day-One Xbox One Owner.
Just been getting this itch lately to play. I don’t know. I go through droughts where it seems nothing on the consoles or video game atmosphere interests me. Lately though it’s been itching me. The range of games vary.
Recently just got this amazing game “Witcher 2: Assassin of Kings” (Click for Review),